Archive for poetry

Moving On

Posted in Blessings, Poems, Pulseline with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 30, 2012 by Tanya

middleroad

Eventually,

as the pangs of hurt

begin to subside

and are replaced

by the dull ache

and awareness

of void.

The senses return

however raw

from the trauma

of  unexpected change

and loss.

Moments of yesterday

seep through

the pages of today

and melancholy

slips unhindered

from the corners

of your eyes.

Time is not your enemy

although it no longer

resembles a friend.

Faced with the mirror

of mortality

and a journey

that ultimately ends.

You search the heavens

for solace

and pray that someone hears

each aching beat

of your heart

and erases

the moment

that awakened fear.

When the realization

emerges

That the world

isn’t going to cease

merely because

you have no desire

to haul yourself

out of bed

that your responsibilities

will not

complete themselves

despite your wishing

they would.

Perhaps then,

you will begin

to acknowledge

that regardless

of how deep your sorrow

you are breathing still

and moving on

doesn’t mean

that you’ve forgotten.

It simply means

that you’re learning

to accept what happened

…enough…

to continue living.

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12/02/12

Posted in Random Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2012 by Tanya

Momma

Eleven days and counting

Everyone’s moved on with their lives

Including me

Business as usual

But there’s nothing ‘usual’ about it.

In the forefront of my mind

I know you’re gone

And there’s nothing I can do

To change it

I can’t turn back time

I can’t fix ‘this’

And it kills me

That we all keep clicking away

Like you were never here at all.

Your picture is so vivid

In my mind

It can’t be real

You’re just away

Like any other day.

It all went down so wrong

Nothing to show you belonged

Everyone crying

Everyone fighting

But nobody’s fighting for you

Everyone wanting something

To build memories

From fragments of you

So much time was wasted

When we should have

Been loving you.

It’s fine to say

“I wish I had”

And “Momma, I miss you now”

But where were those words

When you needed them

And why should they

Matter now?

The world keeps spinning

And my mind keeps reeling

My feet don’t touch the ground

I’ll never get used

To missing you

Or not having you around.

In the Eye of the Storm

Posted in Blessings with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2012 by Tanya

“When the world is in chaos, we can still have our own inner peace and maintain a sense of calm in a sea of unrest.”

-Madisyn Taylor

People who manage to maintain a calm and peaceful demeanor, despite the turmoil around them, seem to possess a magnetism that draws others to them. This calm exterior permeates from within and becomes instantly infectious and gratifying to most everyone that surrounds them.

Moments of confusion and chaos often precede blessings of clarity. During times of perceived darkness, it serves our hearts and perspectives well to remember that storms exist to afford us the opportunities to delve deep within ourselves and to extract whatever is necessary, from a pool of resources we had long since believed to be exhausted.

Maintaining a sense of inner peace and calm is imperative to successfully navigating through life’s storms.

If we can learn to locate and focus on the stillness that resides in the innermost chambers of our hearts, then we can derive and maintain composure in nearly any situation that occurs.

It isn’t mandatory that we comprehend the chaos, many of us rarely do. Neither is it realistic to believe that we could accurately predict how circumstances might unfold. Rather, what is important to remember…is how to access our own inner peace and calm, particularly when life’s storms begin to gather.

Cultivate your inner clarity through meaningful activities that perpetuate stillness and quiets your inner voice. Meditate, go for a walk, sit with nature, write, sketch, paint…create.

Whatever you choose to do, allow your heart to embrace the stillness and discover the haven reserved for you. Illuminate your soul with such tranquility, that it will lead you through even the most tumultuous of ebony storms. You will emerge victorious a midst a whirlwind of chaos…stronger, wiser and with clarity and the presence of mind to calm it all…

Again…and again…and again.

If we remember to delve deep, despite the chaos, everything we’ll ever need…already exists inside…patiently awaiting…our discovery.

“Do not be deceived by your senses,

Your feelings of fear and uncertainty,

For even as the tempest may howl,

Just beyond

Lies a serenity,

That you would

Not find otherwise.”

The Chrysalis Project

Posted in Pulseline with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 16, 2012 by Tanya

Like most children, I spent a good portion of my youth fantasizing about who I might become when I grew up. And although there were a multitude of choices to select from, I usually exercised the child’s prerogative to change my mind on a daily basis. However; one of the things I always knew I would become was an Artist.  Even at such a young and impressionable age, I also knew that more than anything else in my lifetime, I wanted to discover a way to simply ‘Touch Souls.’ Although a clear method for this phrase has continued to elude me, the underlying concept has never changed.

Much of my adulthood has been centered within the Human Service arena, a surprising, yet rewarding detour into the lives of countless, extraordinary people. Artistically, my experiences have been varied and rewarding also, but not quite the particular caliber I would prefer. So I continue to challenge myself to be accountable and to strive towards excellence in every respect.

While contemplating all of this recently, I was struck by the realization that although I had always assumed my first love to be art, it was actually a close second to helping others.  Why something that was right in front of me had managed to elude me for so long is beyond me. But from this realization was born an idea….a brand new project to satisfy both passions in a creative arena meant to inspire, encourage and engage people in helping each other through random works of heART.

I have been working diligently to set up another website and accompanying blog with all of the specific details. I am absolutely elated at the prospect of sharing this project with everyone and hope with all of my heart that it creates the ripple effect I expect.

As soon as the sites are completed and ready for debut, I will post the appropriate links here.

In the meantime, have an absolutely wonderful day!

Change

Posted in Random Thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2012 by Tanya

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. – Anatole France

I sometimes struggle with the incredible magnitude that change evokes.  Though I bear no regrets for anything I have experienced in my lifetime thus far, I have grieved some of the losses wrought by change.  Although I am wise enough to realize that change is a necessary catalyst toward growth, I am also well aware that movement in one direction also signifies distance from another. Sometimes, the need for distance is both obvious and welcomed. But what about those instances when the heart is completely unprepared for what change is about to manifest?

 

During those times, change can wreak havoc on an unsuspecting heart, leaving a multitude of feelings in its wake. Though change, by mere definition is inevitable, the ramifications are far less immediately discernible. What we are then left with is a palpable confusion that sometimes, leaves a bitter residue in our memories. Yet still, I feel no regret, but rather a thirst for understanding and perhaps compassion for what occurred. In lieu of angry words and bitterness, I have struggled over the years to elevate my thoughts to a place of understanding and empathy. Although this is rarely an easy task, it is vital to my ability to ascertain some semblance of comprehension and movement towards positive change.

 

I believe that there are various degrees of melancholy which emerge in the shadows of change, but this also seems to be a natural progression towards growth. If not for the depths of our experiences and the melange of feelings, where might we garner the wisdom imperative to proceed toward authenticity and securing our life’s purpose?

 

Change is unequivocally impartial. It effects all people, places and things in its path without reservation or hesitation. We, the recipients, are left to clear the clutter, garner what knowledge we can decipher and carry on to the promise of new heights. While doing so, tuck the memories worth treasuring close to your heart…these are undeniably part of the lessons you were meant to learn….stepping stones, to bring you a bit closer, to where you were always meant to be.

Disconnected

Posted in Poems with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2012 by Tanya

I thought of you today

And wondered how you’ve been.

It’s been awhile now

And then, those letters

I’d meant to send.

Times are tough all over

You know how things can get,

What with kids & work & bills & things

Just slipped my mind

I guess.

I’ve picked up the phone

A hundred times

And knew that I should call,

But it was always too late

Or too Early,

So I just didn’t call at all.

I knew I should

Just make the trip

It’s really not that far,

But then,

There’s the price of gasoline

And the hassles with the car.

I read about you

In the paper tonight,

And I just can’t believe you’re gone…

I should have made the time for you

While you were…with me…

All along.

At What Point in Time

Posted in Poems with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 26, 2012 by Tanya

At what point in time
did it become vital
to cross my legs at the knees
before a simple sneeze,
or cross a room
and have to rest
before I start to wheeze?

At what point in time
when I sat
did things settle
and the effort
require a nap,
when did I switch
between the pot & the kettle
and suddenly
desire a map?

At what point in time
did I start losing my teeth
where dentures
were the only choice,
and between the heartburn & snoring
I cringe
at the sound
of my voice?

At what point in time
did I simply relent
to wish on a star
just to open a jar
and despite my bodys descent,
Prayed for WD40
and begged the dear Lord
would He
mend all the joints
that were spent?

At what point in time
did my arms begin to recede
and shrivel too short to read,
why does the simple
act of standing
cause my knees
to plead?

At what point in time
did I develop
a counter balance
between my belly & bum,
why is it I barely
remember my name
or even where I’m from?

At what point in time
did my clothes cease to fit,
and my breasts
drop below
where I usually sit?

At what point in time
did my thighs
start to rub,
I fear the friction
may cause a fire,
I’m afraid, I could cry
and I don’t want to fry,
but the thought of running
makes me perspire.

At what point in time
did I start to send for a friend
when I merely
wanted to bend,
and though I never
intend to offend,
the farts depart more
in the end.

At what point in time
did I develop whiskers
and require various razors & creams,
when did I realize
with certainty,
I had Sasquatch
in my genes?

At what point in time
did my sense of smell
get shot to hell
and my age no longer lie,
when did passing a mirror
make me want to hide?

My reflection
is a joke
an image I’d like to poke,
wrinkles & sags
a hag wrapped in bags,
who I haven’t
the strength
to choke.

At what point in time
did creaks & groans
take the place
of sheets & moans,
and why now
when I’m grown,
would my mind be blown,
if I found myself
ALONE?